The problem is, we don’t recognize them as unhealthy because we’re brought up to believe in things like love at first sight.
Moving away from the psychological factors at work here, infatuation in general can be a dangerous thing.
When we meet someone, we immediately assess everything about them (again, this happens unconsciously).
On a conscious level, you may assess the things he said, on an unconscious level, you’re looking at his body language, his tone, the way he phrases things, how much eye contact he makes, his demeanor.
The high continues as you venture into a relationship and becomes even more intense. The uncertainty keeps you on your toes, constantly on alert for something that looks like a bad sign or an ominous foreshadow.
This emotional rollercoaster is as exhausting as it is thrilling. The worst possible thing that could happen is him leaving.
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It causes you to put him on a pedestal and overlook his flaws.
Since he’s so “perfect” you become afraid to be yourself–I mean, how could your true self MORE: Infatuation…the Silent Relationship Killer You don’t want to say the wrong thing and scare him off, so you aren’t genuine in your interactions.
In most cases, the pull we feel to another person is guided by our unconscious desire to rectify some issue from our past.
For instance, if your parents always made you feel like you weren’t good enough, you may seek out guys who are full of themselves and treat you like you’re not worthy of their love in an attempt to rectify those feelings from your past.
If he does, your stomach drops, your heart races, you want to leap off your seat and scream for joy.